Buy One Get One Free

People whom I don't appreciate are people who treat life as it is with "buy one get one free" coupons. They live in the manner of: You do this favor for me, and I'll do a favor for you of equal or lesser value.
In my opinion
(which goes without stating because,
well, this is my blog)
this is not attractive.

In other thoughts...
One time I turned on the television just for noise and what came on was this movie on HBO. I don't even know what movie it was, but from the speakers I heard the most badass quote.
Let me set up the scene for you:
A daughter was being rude to her mother at the dinner table in front of the whole family and their spouses. She was saying that her mother should just be put into an elderly home because she is just "too weak." Also, it's like the 1940s or 30s.
The mom replied with:
"The only thing that I regret is that I have not the strength to give you the beating you deserve."
Ha! You go Momma!

In even more thoughts:
In the words of Eminem,
"If you take sh**, you eat sh**."
Well said, Sir. Well said.

Why Opposable Thumbs?

Because that is the only thing
that separates some of us
from the rest of the planet,
and therefore we evolve into making blogs.


And yes, I'm aware that some
non-homo sapiens have opposable thumbs.

Unsettling/WTH?

The fact that black people is even an option
is slightly racist, no?
And the first person's remark is just plain
unsettling.
This just topped my great day off.

In addition,
the fact that "FML"
is a new fad
is ridiculous.
If you really don't want to be here,
then you should probably just
end things now and make some room
on this here planet.

Not My Friend

Some guy in my philosophy class today
"raised the roof"
...to CandyLand
(yeah, the board game).
What?

P.S. - A girl broke her wrist
in soccer class today and as soon
as it happened she simply said,
"Oh, I broke my wrist."
Epic!

Sweet, right?

This is my dream set of decks to sit upon my wall
(Past and future presidents)

Meh.

Most reprehensible expression in today's American society?
See also: title of this post.

Potential Rapist

Today I have been sexually violated over the World Wide Web.
I posted a video on YouTube

And a stranger sent me this private message:
"hey i was watching your video and you seem really strong! could you make a quick video of yourself flexing your arms?"
Now, I've seen this on Oprah.
Next he will ask me to take off my shirt,
then my pants.
This is a sick individual
and I will not fall for his (or her?) tricks!
One small step for Oprah, one giant leap for mankind.

Unrelated information:
My song of choice at the moment you wonder?

Starry Eyes - nickasaur!

The Bird

Today was a first.
While there was some slight confusion at a stop sign today,
I took my rightful turn
And as soon as I know it
Some girl is givin' me the bird out her window.
What if I was some old lady..
the would be effed up!
Moral of the story,
I can never think of an instance where
flippin' the bird is the right and classy
thing to do.
I bet that girl went home
and drank Milwaukee's Best
by herself on her porch tonight.
Skank.

Friendship

This week in my philosophy class, a question was proposed:
What is friendship?

I once had a "friend" who used me.
But in return, I used my friend.
We both thought the other one didn't know.
(She totally didn't.)
You see, she had a pool.
And any person who lets me swim in their pool
is a true friend of mine.
Except if they turn on you
forever because of certain insecurities.
Whatever, at least I got to go swimming a few times.

Blonde Beauty

A certain blonde beauty and I were at an event today
when we both spotted a girl wearing blue Ugg boots.
No.

"I'm putting that in my blog"

Part of the reason why I made a blog was so I could say, "I'm putting that in my blog."
Part of the reason why I made a blog was so I could talk about myself.

One night, a friend of mine looked at a young male with a patterned shirt and said, "Look at textile man."
My reply?
"Couldn't you say that about everyone?"

Do you know what I dislike?
Being on duty.
Do you know what I hate?
Being on duty twice in one week.

Who does that?

The girl who made my sandwich at the Avenue today was no fun.
You know how I know?
She cut my sandwich vertically.
Who does that?


A girl in my English class said her favorite author is Shakespeare.
Please just get on your knees for the teacher on the first day!
Really though, who does that?

Why?

There are pictures at the top of this blog.

I am in them.

Why?

Because this blog is about me.

What's the Hizzy?

This is my blog.

It's about me because that's what blogs are:
the only socially accepted way to talk only about oneself
...all the time.
Begin.